things you said--
by Actual Trash Prince
Summary: Bickering: [verb] Like arguing, but cuter. /or/ Sometimes they don't fight at all. Ship: Phoebe Thunderman/Max Thunderman Warnings: Under aged drinking, incest.
1. things you said at 1am

Cherry's party had somehow turned into one of the coolest parties of the year, throbbing house music, seniors singing off-key and even some pretty great tropical punch, with the clueless blonde at the centre of it all, soaking up the attention from her peers. Phoebe, who was vaguely bemused but didn't begrudge her friend the attention, spent most of the night on the sofa with a revolving door of companionship, situating herself in the centre of the bright red sofa near the edge of the rumpus room.

"Hey, _dweeb-ee_." Max's slurred speech brought Phoebe's conversation with Whitney to an abrupt halt. The brunette excused herself politely from the popular girl to swivel quickly and use her best glare on her brother, who had slumped into the seat on her other side, his arms thrown across the back of the couch, eyes fluttering closed. Whitney smiled politely, if not a little bit exasperatedly at the boy, going to get herself another drink.

"Oh my God, Max are you drunk?" The super asked once she was certain Whitney was out of earshot, her eyes going wide at the sight of the plastic red cup in his relaxed grip. She leaned across him to grab the cup, which was thankfully empty, and sniff it, anxiety pooling in her stomach at the thought of what her parents would do to them if Max went home drunk.

"Relax, I've only been drinking the punch." He sighed, eyes refusing to focus as he clapped her on the back, hazy smile on his face. Phoebe's face screwed up into a mask of anger and resentment, holding the cup as if too much contact could get her grounded simply via exposure.

"The punch has been spiked." She groaned at the realisation, and Max let out a loud cry of laughter, startling his sister as he sat bolt upright, one hand still on her back, the other reaching for the cup, which she jerked away as he began to move.

"I knew that." He huffed, still only half aware of what was happening, trying in vain to grab the cup as Phoebe moved it further out of his reach. The two of them overbalanced as he leaned his whole weight against her and Phoebe ended up sprawled across the sofa with Max draped over her. With his chin digging into her upper arm and his free hand dancing on her calf to the beat of the music, she looks at him, and sees him looking back. "It wasn't me." He told her simply, and she can't help but believe him, which, in her defence, probably wasn't the best idea. "But only because I didn't think of it first." His voice is resolute and she rolled her eyes, pulled from her thoughts as he uses his telekinesis to pour himself another cup of punch. Phoebe lets out a strangled cry, shoving Max off of her and breaking his focus. The cup of punch, as well as her brother come crashing to the ground and Phoebe only picks up one.

"Cherry!" Phoebe called as she dragged her brother along, letting him stumble uncoordinatedly behind her. Her best friend's grin is blindingly bright, as it always was, turning from her conversation to give her full attention to Phoebe. "Max is drunk and doing… _superpower stuff_." She explains in a dramatic whisper, leaning in closer as to only be heard by Cherry over the pounding house music. Cherry takes a moment to process what Phoebe had said, but her eyes light up and her gaze focuses on Max.

"Oh cool!" She cried, her smile growing even wider, if possible, as Max waved at her with the hand not held to his side by his sister. "Can he-"

"No, Cherry, this is bad." Phoebe cuts her off and Cherry's mouth snaps closed, her face falling. "And I can't call my parents, or they'll know that..." She sighed, gesturing helplessly to Max who was watching some of the more popular girls dance with an almost hungry look in his eye. Phoebe wouldn't even acknowledge the flutter of discomfort in her stomach at that thought, and she tried not to think anything of it.

"You guys can stay here tonight then, I mean, you were going to anyway," Cherry laughed, back to her bubbly self. Cherry was anything if not adaptable, and that was one of the reasons Phoebe was grateful to have her as a best friend.

"Thank you so much, you're awesome." She breathed a sigh of relief, pulling her best friend in for a one-armed hug, Max lurching forwards at the sudden movement. Cherry frowned at their linked hands, but didn't think much of it. They were weird.

"Oh, it's OK. You can stay in my brother's room! He's away with my parents." She offered, gesturing up the stairs and Phoebe wasted no time in pulling Max away from any more temptations, despite his sad whining sounds and shouts of annoyance whenever he tripped.

The room was clean enough, Phoebe noted, with posters for bands stuck on every available surface and a cosy bed in the corner. Phoebe smiled as she looked around, letting go of Max's hands to examine the posters. A lot she didn't recognise, but she did see one of her brother's band, made of construction paper and printed in black and white, with Max, Oyster and Gideon's frozen grins all smiling out at her from the wall, the band in between drummers at the time Gideon's mom had let them borrow her fancy camera. She liked the poster, the three of the boys had just finished a rehearsal and all looked tired but high on adrenaline, Max grinning brighter than he ever did around her... Then again, he mostly _smirked_ around her. Phoebe swallowed thickly, flinching away from the poster and her thoughts, her mind quickly spinning a new set; perhaps she just didn't like their new drummer, yeah, that was it, that's why she liked the poster. She turned back around slowly, still trapped in thoughts, but curious to see what had kept her brother so quiet. It was a different picture than the one she had been imagining, having broken several objects and escaped out the window. Instead, she saw him laying face down on the bed, limbs spread akimbo beneath the Avengers duvet. There was the low hum of noise, not the music, which had been significantly muffled by the stairs and subsequent hallways, but upon closer inspection, Phoebe could hear Max mumbling the words _'comfy-cosy_ ' under his breath, his eyes closed as he sunk into the pillow.

"Comfy-cosy, indeed." Phoebe smirked, pulling out her phone and snapping a picture of her twin for future blackmail purposes. Well, that was her justification; she would never tell anyone, not even Max, that he looked absolutely adorable tucked in and almost asleep.

"Phoebe!" The sleepy, whiny voice of Max reached Phoebe's ears as she made her way to the door. She turned on her heel, frowning at her brother, who had rolled onto his side, throwing the covers back and reaching out to her. "Stay with me?" He asked, quietly, eyes only half focused. Phoebe snorted, but a glance at the digital clock made her hesitate; it _was_ nearly half past one, she really should be getting to bed soon... if not here, well, there were worse places.

"But Cherry -" Phoebe began to weakly protest, but was cut off by a wave of Max's hand as he wiggled back, making more room.

"Cherry's pretty, stupid and has spiked punch, she's not going to get bored." He said, as matter-of-factly as he could with his face half hidden by a bright green duvet with the Hulk's face on it. Phoebe smiled involuntarily and conceded that he was right, slipping off her flats. She curled into the bed beside Max and let him wrap the duvet around her, the two of them laying on their sides, facing one another.

"You think Cherry's pretty?" Phoebe didn't know why she asked, but she's blaming it on the time and pretending she had some of the spiked punch when really all she had been drinking was water. She's looking at her hands and glances up to gauge Max's reaction, he's got his eyes closed but he's still smirking.

"Yeah, but she's really stupid." He snorted, before adding, almost as an afterthought, "So don't worry." He doesn't think about why he added it, it's out now and he doesn't seem inclined to take it back.

"I'm not worried." She responded, automatically defensive. Max cracked his eyes open a tiny bit to watch her frown and fidget, almost nervously but with none of the real stress. His gut reaction is to both hate and love the emotion as it plays on her face, adoring how easily defensive and jealous she gets. It's not a weird feeling for him to have, not when it's past midnight and he's drunk enough to forget about this tomorrow morning.

"You're pretty too, Pheebs." He said, softly, petting her hand awkwardly, closing his eyes before she catches him staring. "If you tell anyone I said that I'll destroy you." He tells her with as much seriousness as he can muster. Phoebe can't help but laugh.

"Thanks, Max." She mumbled once the laughter died down, smiling despite herself and let closing her eyes, enjoying his company, even if they don't say anything more and simply fall asleep.

They sleep better that night than they have in years and wake hand in hand. Max is the first to open his eyes and screams like a banshee, shoving his twin violently from the bed and onto the floor as a gut reaction. Phoebe awakes with a warm heart to a cold floor and doesn't want to think about how empty her hand feels.


	2. things you said through your teeth

The title of Max's girlfriend - _dark empress of the night_ \- had been passed down from girl to girl for the past few months and his current fling was with a girl named Andrina who was pretty, funny and, most importantly, took AP chemistry, granting her access to a whole store of chemicals. Of course Max liked her, how could he not? It had been three whole weeks since they had started dating, a record by Max's standards, and Phoebe knew it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down around him. She was right, of course, because she's Phoebe and she's always right, but there's something messed up about losing your girlfriend because you've accidentally, almost started dating your sister.

"Hey, Max," Phoebe frowned at the non-descript, white box lying on the sofa, her name written across it in black marker in the telltale tilt of Max's untidy scrawl, "is this for me?" She called out, picking it up, gingerly. She opened it with cautious, shaking fingers, expecting something to explode or jump out at her, but nothing did. Inside the box was a single piece of fancy-looking cake with a plastic fork sitting beside it. She frowned at it for a moment before turning her gaze to the entrance of the lair… _What was he trying to pull here?_ "Billy!" She called out, deciding upon her next course of action. Her younger brother was by her side in less than a second, grinning up at her, looking expectant. "Do you want a bit of cake?" She asked, as sweetly as she could manage given the circumstances.

"Sure! I'd love some!" Billy cried, picking up the spoon and digging a chunk out for himself. She waited for his reaction with baited breath, watching him consider the food before his grin grew even larger. "Red velvet! Yum!"

" _Yum_?" Phoebe had her doubts, but she knew her youngest brother wouldn't lie to her, his wide, trustworthy grin beaming up at her. With the beginning hints of nervousness, she plucked the fork from her brother's grip and tried the smallest bite of cake she could manage.

"Anything else you need?" Billy asked, weight swaying impatiently from one foot to the other as they both heard a loud bang from the yard, most probably from one of their younger sisters. Phoebe smiled guiltily at him.

"No, thanks Billy." She said, sticking the fork back in the cake and petting his head with her free hand. He zipped away, probably to go adventuring with Nora, but he was soon replaced by the her twin, who strut lazily into the room. "Did you poison this? Because if so, you've killed Billy too. I hope your happy." She glared at him, her words tumbling out almost as if it were one sentence. Max listened placidly, his hand rising to his chest in mock outrage.

"I'm offended. Don't you trust me?" He asked, his voice hurt. Phoebe's scowl deepened and he dropped the act, easy smirk sliding onto his face. "Alright, fair call, but no," he dipped his head, sitting down on the sofa beside where she ate, "it's a gesture of peace." Phoebe hesitated, watching him for any hint of a lie, before deciding it was safe and stuffing the rest of the cake in her mouth. "I'm guessing it's good." Max made a face of amusement at her and she wrinkled her nose at him.

"The cake's good. What's the catch?" She asked, slowly after she finished the dessert and put the packaging in the trash.

"No catch, I swear." He held up his hands defensively, look of innocence on his face that just made Phoebe more suspicious, "Just wanted to do something nice for my _super_ sister." He grinned stupidly at his own pun and Phoebe's scowl deepened.

"Why are you being so weird? Is it your girlfriend?" She asked, pressing down the gnawing feelings of jealousy at the way Max's face lit up at her mention. "It... was nice." She said, finally, avoiding looking at Max, who had stood up and made his way to the lair slide. "Thanks, I think." Phoebe gave him a small, half smile, which he returned, and she left for the library.

If it had been a one-off occurrence, she wouldn't have been worried. Well, she would have been vaguely worried because Max didn't just do that, but the event would just eventually fade into obscurity. However, it kept happening, little things here and there, nice for the most part - except for the ice sculpture, which was apparently of a horse, but it melted in her locker.

"Max, what are you doing?" She hissed to him, a stack of peanut butter cups in her hand. It had been almost a month and he had been nicer to her for those four weeks than he had been at any other time of his life. "Are you feeling OK? Are you aware of your actions?" She asked, and Max simply raised his eyebrows at her.

"What? No thank you?" He scoffed, and Phoebe huffed out her thanks. Neither of them brought it up again and they fall back into their routine of bickering so everything feels right.

Andrina's at the door when Max opens it, a stack of peanut butter cups held gingerly in her grip. "Max, I love you, but I can't take these." She doesn't even let him get a word of greeting in before she shoved the candy into his hands.

"What do you mean? I thought they were your favourite?" His confused, puppy-like face made Andrina's heart melt, despite her sadness, and Phoebe looked up from her phone from where she was texting at the dinner table, confused at what was taking him so long. It had just been her and Max in the kitchen until the doorbell rang, Max gladly taking the excuse to stop washing the dishes, not that he was doing much more than rinsing them in water and sticking them in the dishwasher.

"I'm allergic to peanuts." She says, softly, and Max starts talking before he starts thinking.

"Oh, then they must be -" He clamped his mouth shut, stubbornly not saying what his next thought was. Peanut butter cups were _Phoebe's_ favourite candy. Andrina seemed to catch on, however, smiling sadly at the super, and in that instant, Max was made painfully aware of a time where he liked girls for non-superficial reasons, which stopped right around the time he wanted to become a super villain.

"It's not just this," Andrina voice was soft but her words were cold, "you leave me little 'good luck' notes on days I don't have exams, you made a study timetable for classes I don't take and I know you don't take. Max, I can overlook a lot of things, but almost accidental murder isn't one." She laughed, but there was no humour in it.

"Technically, it's manslaughter." He said, bouncing on his toes, smirking at his knowledge of the technical terms for violent crimes, but Andrina's face fell and she turned to leave. "No, Andy -" He called out, breathing out an angry sigh as he followed her out of the house. "It's Phoebe." He admitted.

"What? Your sister? Max!" She cried, disgusted. Max's eyes widened and he gagged into the bushes beside the porch and straightened up, grimacing.

"Oh god, no, not like that." He shuddered, "I was… beta testing my gifts for you, I just..." He explained, slowly, struggling to find the right words, but there were none. Andrina's expression was pained as she finished his thought.

"Forgot which one was your girlfriend?" Her voice was quiet and Max avoided her gaze, staring down at his shoes. "That's messed up." She said finally, and his head shot up as he looked indignant.

"I'm not in love with her." He snarled, and Andrina visibly hesitated before asking the question that was plaguing her.

"Are you in love with me?" She asked. Max went silent and swallowed thickly, once more avoiding her gaze. Andrina sighed heavily, before kissing him on the cheek and petting his shoulder lightly. "Actions speak louder than words." She told him, and he raised his head to look her in the eyes, which were sad, but full of understanding. "I'm sorry." And she left him there, in the cold, with handfuls of candy.

"Max?" Phoebe's voice was soft as she peered around the corner of the door, and Max was startled into movement, scowling at her as he shoved the peanut butter cups into her hands. "What? What happened?" She cried, moving so he wouldn't barge into her and knock them out of her grip.

"It doesn't matter." He hissed through gritted teeth, slamming his fist onto the open button for his lair slide. Phoebe followed him, gingerly cradling the chocolates as she called out, it seemed to work as he paused before entering the slide.

"Yes, it does. You're ditching your chores." She said, frowning at him.

Max glared at her, before rolling his eyes, "God, Phoebe, not everything around here revolves around you or chores." He spat, venomously. Phoebe visibly flinched and Max pretends he doesn't see as he slides down the chute and into his lair. Phoebe doesn't follow him and the dishes are all clean when he surfaces for dinner. Neither of them bring any of it up.

Later, when he's buying only one slice of cake, this time solely for Phoebe, he pretends he has an ulterior motive. At this point, it's less messed up than the truth.


	3. things you said too quietly

Movie nights in the Thunderman household were less ' _family friendly_ ' and more ' _tense and loud_ ', forever doomed to end in either a food fight or a screaming match between the children. To say they were few and far between was a dramatic understatement. Actually, ' _family_ ' wasn't even the correct term, it was pretty much anyone who hadn't been driven away by the argument over movie selections.

"I swear Nora, if you suggest your dumb, animated, horse movie one more time, I'm going to feed you to an actual horse." Max hollered, DVD clenched too tightly in his fist. Nora let out a frustrated scream, lasering the plastic case from Max's grip with her eyes. Max let out a loud yelp of surprise and dropped it to the ground, shaking his hand vigorously, as if to lessen the pain.

"Just because you and Phoebe agree for a change, doesn't mean you're right!" Nora yelled back, the telltale red glow of her eyes indicating another furious burst of laser to come. Phoebe glared daggers at her little sister, moving to stand between Nora and her twin who was hunched over, a scathing retort on his tongue.

"Whoa, Nora, sweetie, calm down. What's happening?" The voice of Barbra Thunderman was followed by the woman, who descended the staircase and was greeted by an unexpected scene of conflict. Phoebe stood defensively in front of her twin brother, tall and imposing, with Nora's glare darting between the two of them while Billy hovered nervously behind her. Actually, Billy was pretty much to be expected, but the rest, this dynamic was new to the super-mom.

"Nora wants us to watch ' _My Little Pony_ ' and I would rather give Doctor Colosso a bath." Max spat. The whole family shuddered at the memory of the last time they tried bathing the supervillain-turned-rabbit… no-one wanted to repeat this experience, Barb had nightmares about pet-shampoo for _weeks_.

"See, I told you this was what would happen if we let the kids choose." Barbara sighed to her husband as he trudged down the staircase behind her. Hank paused, surveying his children with a frown, before turning to Barb.

"You decide then." He said, simply, disappearing into the kitchen to look for more snacks. Barbara froze at the suggestion and swallowed hard before turning back to her angry and expectant children all glaring up at her.

"Phoebe," she began hesitantly, "what did you and Max have in mind?" She asked, ignoring the offended looking Nora.

" _Sharknado_." Max grinned, taking the words out of his sister's mouth, though her lips did curl into a smile. Their mother was visibly confused by this suggestion, her questioning gaze turning to Phoebe, who shrugged non-committally. "Why?" Barb asked, and the twins answered simultaneously.

"It's _terrible_."

"It's _awesome_."

There was a pause and Phoebe made a noise of amusement. "It's so bad it's good." She amended, to which Max was nodding vigorously. Nora let out an annoyed sigh, conceding defeat as she stormed upstairs.

"Nora-" Barbara sighed, turning to her youngest daughter, who glared at her mother over her shoulder, which was cute but vaguely menacing with the girl's super-powered potential.

"I'm watching 'My Little Pony' tonight, even if I have to watch it in my room." She announced, continuing up the stairs in a huff.

"Can I come too?" Billy called after her, his voice hopeful and bright, "It was my suggestion!" Nora nodded and in less than a second, Billy was by her side, the two of them heading into the girl's bow-filled room, Nora slamming the door behind herself. Phoebe and Max high-fived, an almost alien gesture between the two of them and their mother was shocked to see the easy companionship they shared.

"So mom, now that it's sorted out, wanna join us?" Phoebe asked, handing over the DVD to Max. Barb forced a smile as she looked over the twins, before she spotted her husband exiting the kitchen, dishes balanced in his hands, shaking his head vigorously.

"Oh, sweetie, that's very kind of you," Barb began, gaze sliding back to her children, hands clutching nervously at the banister, afraid of hurting their feelings, "but that movie, it sounds…" She trailed off, only for Hank to fill in the missing word, blunt as only he could be.

"Awful. We're going to watch Chicago and eat chicken." He supplied, at least three plates of chicken wings stacked atop one another in one hand, the other gripping a roll of paper towels. Barb laughed awkwardly, but left the twins to themselves, following her husband upstairs. Silence stretched between the twins and it was nothing short of awkward, broken only by the DVD player whirring to life.

"It isn't really a family movie night anymore." Phoebe fidgeted with her hands, awash with guilt as she reflected on the ordeal that just took place, ashamedly triumphant at the outcome – _was Sharknado really worth it_? Max hummed in agreement before shrugging, breaking the awkwardness with his simple movement.

"Whatever, could have been worse. We might have had to watch Nora's dumb, horse movie." He mused, it was so unexpected that Phoebe couldn't help but let out a startled laugh. Max grinned at the sound, loving that he could still make her laugh like that, that some things still hadn't changed. "I'll get the drinks if you get the popcorn." He said, to which his twin nodded, bright smile upon her face as they made their way into the kitchen.

Phoebe set about trying to find the popcorn and bowls, while Max dug through the refrigerator. He came out with a large bottle of sofa and a smirk. "Slushie?" He asked over his shoulder, and Phoebe nodded just as the microwave beeped, letting her know the first bag of popcorn was done. Max made his way outside with the bottle, using his ice breath to freeze it as he hit it against the low, stone fence around the patio, crushing the drink into little pieces. He returned to the kitchen to pour it into two cups, only to find Phoebe frowning at the large metal bowl in front of her, filled almost to the brim with popcorn.

"I couldn't find two suitable bowls, so we're sharing." She announced, looking up from the bowl, smiling at the sight of the iced drink he held. "Thanks, Max." She said, taking the popcorn and plopping herself in front of the television with it in her lap. Max floated the drink, along with two plastic ups, telekinetically with one hand, using the other to snatch the remote out of Phoebe's grip. She gave a shout of annoyance, shifting to glare at him fast enough to spill some popcorn onto the sofa.

"It's director's cut or nothing." Max's' voice was smug and Phoebe rolled her eyes, her expression dropping back to merely annoyed, any hints of their earlier comradery vanishing as Max ate the popcorn that had fallen out of the bowl. Max didn't want to admit how it made his heart sink, so he didn't; he pushed it aside and pressed play, sitting beside her on the sofa.

"That was… awful." Phoebe concluded, eyes wide as she stared at the credits. Max barked out a laugh, knocking the mostly-empty bowl from where it had sat in his lap for most of the movie. "It might actually be the worst thing I've ever seen." She admitted, shaking her head as she slumped back on the sofa, still staring in disbelief at the television.

"Do you wanna watch the second one?" He asked, and she immediately nodded. Max laughed once more, taking the slide down to his lair. Phoebe cleaned up the remains of their snacks before heading back to the scene of the crime, waiting as Max inserted the DVD into the DVD player, chuckling to himself.

"What can I expect?" She asked, eyes trained doubtfully on the television as the usual copyright warning appeared, sitting herself down on the sofa and tucking her legs beneath herself. Max dropped down beside her with a thump, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, the other to gesture grandly before himself.

"How can you really define a masterpiece like ' _Sharknado 2: The Second One_ '?" His voice was mock serious, and yet his arm was stiff around her, hyper aware of every single point of contact between the two, waiting for her to shake him off at any moment. However, Phoebe simply laughed disbelievingly, curling up closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder. Max let out a sigh he didn't know he had been holding in and relaxed, running his thumb affectionately over her shoulder.

"You've got to be kidding me." She groaned, shaking her head, hair tickling Max's neck. He simply clicked play, chuckling as she pressed her face into his shoulder in annoyance as the title card appeared. The movie was truly awful, almost spectacular in its absurdity, but despite the action (and the explosions) the twins had managed to fall asleep on one another, Max's arm still wrapped around Phoebe, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

" _I've missed you_." Phoebe's voice was quiet, quiet enough that Max isn't sure if she'd said anything at all, but if she had said anything, she sounded sleepy and content, which was nice. Max cracked his eyes open, squinting at the time… he can't read the clock properly but he knows it's too early. _Wait_ , he thinks to himself, shifting in his sort-of uncomfortable position, jostling the figure next to him, making her sigh tiredly, _did Phoebe say something_? He pondered for a moment, before shrugging. Phoebe making a quiet noise of protest as he tried to disentangle himself from her, but her hand reached out to grip his shirt and pull him closer. Max smiled to himself, shifting until they were both comfortable and warm, wrapped up in one another. He doesn't think about what she said until it's a reasonable time of day and he's back in his lair. He thinks about it more than he probably should, more than is really necessary... He wonders if he had just imagined it, or if she really... N _ah_ , he thinks, ignoring the sad little feeling in his heart, _I'm probably just imagining things_.


	4. things you said over the phone

High school, for the record, sucked. Max knew this, of course, but he did spend a lot of time dwelling on just how much going to a _regular_ high school sucked. It was a lot.

"Max-" There was a voice beside him, as well as a person, who hadn't been there before, and Max jumped about a foot in the air, much to the laughter of the girl beside him. Upon realising it was his sister laughing at his misfortunes, he rested his head against the locker, letting out a sigh of frustration.

"God, Phoebe, get a bell." He hissed, before leaning against his locker, trying to decide if he would rather scowl at her or play it cool and smirk. He decided to go with smirking, swivelling around to lean against the locker with his back, tipping his head to one side and looking expectantly at her. With a roll of her eyes, Phoebe flipped her hair over her shoulder, hitting Max with the scent of apple shampoo.

"What got you so distracted?" She snickered, before her eyes lit up, "Is it a girl? Do you have a crush? Oh, I am so going to tease you-" She was suddenly buzzing with energy, stepping closer and looking him in the eye, almost predatory in her movements, "Who is it?" She bouncing twice, expectant. Max made loud, gagging noises.

"Even if I did have a crush, like I would ever tell you." He sneered, and Phoebe stepped back, face falling, arms curling tighter around her books. "I was just thinking how boring this place is." He said, his gaze drifting over all the non-supes, not even acknowledging when one of the nerds gives him an excited wave - _was it Lionel? He thinks the kid's name is Lionel_. _Whatever_.

"Just because we can't use our powers, doesn't mean it's not fun." Phoebe said, smiling tiredly in the face of the well worn argument. Max pulled one of her books from her grip and she didn't so much as protest. He didn't know if it was simply because it had happened too many times before, or perhaps because she was loosening up, whatever it was, Max was grateful for the opportunity to mock her with ease.

"I don't see how calculus books bigger than my head equals fun." He held up the book as if to compare the sizes, resting the corner against his temple. Amused, Pheobe smiled as though she were in on some secret that Max wasn't privy to, taking the book and putting on top of the pile.

"Yes, I agree," she used her ' _high-and-mighty_ ' voice, the one that she used when she was trying to act like she was better than Max, "you do have a thick skull." She turned on her heel, hitting him in the face with her hair and another waft of apple shampoo. He called out to her indignantly, but was stopped by the three nerds - Lionel, Jake and Tom… Which was which, he would never know.

"Are you sure you don't know Phoebe?" Lionel said, wriggling his eyebrows. Max could feel himself tense up, scowling at the boys.

"What? Of course I know Phoebe, I mean, we aren't friends or anything - no. I don't know her." He fired off, far too quickly to be even halfway convincing.

"What, is she like, your sister or something?" Tom snorted, and Max rolled his eyes, making loud gagging noises.

"I am not related to _that_." He said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder to where Phoebe had walked off. "Gross." He added, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why would that be gross? Phoebe is like…" Jake sighed dreamily and Max had to press his lips together to not laugh, "a goddess." He finished, staring at the classroom she had just entered into, probably for some dorky meeting or club. "She's in my AP history class, and she sits like three seats away, except for last Monday, she sat two seats away because we had a substitute teacher and-"

"God, just… stop talking." Max wrinkled his nose, holding a hand up for the rambling geek to stop. Jake obligingly stopped talking and dipped his head.

"What did Phoebe want with you? She seemed really excited for a minute there." Tom said, and Max could feel himself panicking before he could respond.

"Of course she was excited, everyone's excited around me." Max shrugged, shooting for casual and failing abysmally.

"Guys, I think I've figured it out." Lionel said, beaming like he had just been promised free pizza. He pulled the other two into a huddle, whispering quietly enough that Max couldn't hear a word they were saying. After a few moments, he wondered if he could just sneak off to eat his lunch in peace, but the trio turned around, all grinning like they won the lottery, taking turns to shake Max's hand vigorously. "Congratulations."

"You've managed to do what none of us had the courage to do." Jake said, earnestly.

"What?" Max huffed, confused.

"Dating Phoebe, of course." Tom said, and Max felt a wave of nausea as it swept through him. Black spots appeared in his vision and he leaned harder against the locker to avoid swaying on his feet. "We knew you were the king for a reason." Tom added, for good measure. Max blinked away the black spots, swallowing hard before he answered.

"Yeah, of course… Phoebe is… my girlfriend." He said, slowly, laughing nervously. _How is that better than her being your sister?! If anything it's worse!_ His mind screamed at him, and all he could do was offer a smile, "Just don't tell anyone OK, Pheebs wants to keep it on the down low because she doesn't want angry fangirls attacking her or anything." He paused, grinning, self-assured "I'm quite a catch." _Max, what the hell are you doing?!_ His brain just would not shut up.

It took exactly three days for the entire school to find out, and another week after that for Cherry to say something to Phoebe.

"Nathan invited me to his house party next Saturday, and he told me to tell you that you're invited." She sucked in an excited breath before adding, "Oh, and so is your boyfriend." She smiled brightly before scurrying off to class.

"My _what_?" Phoebe asked, loudly, to which Cherry turned, eyes wide and somewhat fearful, poised halfway through the door.

"Oh gosh, I forgot." She sighed sadly, "We're not supposed to say anything because Phoebe wants to keep it on the down low," she recited, "so that she doesn't get attacked by any of Max's fangirls." She paused, looking down at her shoes, "He's quite a catch." And it was both the most disappointed and disgusting thing Phoebe had ever heard.

She could feel the bile in the back of her throat as she sucked in a deep breath. "Cherry, you do know that we-"

"Tried to keep it a secret but Max is sort of terrible and couldn't help himself." Max supplied hurriedly as he cut into their conversation, wrapping an arm around Phoebe's shoulders trying to steer her away. Phoebe shrugged him off, ignoring the way she wanted to lean into his embrace. "Pheebs, could I talk to you?" He asked, quiet terror in his eyes. Phoebe looked about ready to kill him, but nodded stiffly. "Look, I can explain." He told her in a whisper once he had found an empty classroom.

"I think I'm actually going to throw up." Phoebe said, growing more nauseous by the minute. "Dating, Max? That's disgusting. We're-"

"I know that we..." he gestured helplessly between the two of them, making a face. "But they don't."

"Are you kidding me? We have the same last name." Phoebe cried.

"And I've always told people that our dads are both nuts for Thunder Man, that he saved them and we met at one of their club meeting things." Phoebe looked incredulously at him and he shrugged. "I wasn't kidding when I said I tell people we're not related."

"So dating is somehow better?" Phoebe snapped, hitting him in the arm.

"I don't know, I panicked!" He yelped, waving his hands in a helpless gesture.

"I need to set the record straight-" Phoebe turned to the door, trying to jiggle the handle open, but Max used his powers to keep the door firmly closed.

"Do you know what happens if you walk out of that door and tell everyone we're twins?" He said, his voice full of authority that even he didn't know he could harness. Phoebe froze. "Everyone thinks we're dating. They're not going to stop thinking that if they know we're twins. They'll just think worse things." He paused, dropping his gaze as his voice lowered. "Much worse things." Phoebe could barely hear him, but she knew what he said.

"So tell them we broke up, we never speak of this again." She hissed, and Max made a noise of protest.

"Please Phoebe, just for one more week, I promise." His whole air had changed, taking a step towards her where she flinched back. He halted abruptly and Phoebe winced, hyper aware of her own movements.

"Oh my God, _what_? Are you kidding me right now?" She sounded almost hysterical. "Max, this is-"

"Wrong, disgusting, sick, I know, OK? I know." He paused for a moment, "But I've been offered a gig and free food..." Phoebe raised a disbelieving eyebrow, like it would convince her, "And I can get Jake to stop touching your hair in AP history." There was a moment in which Phoebe considered it, the thing with Jake really tipping the scales.

"He's like a week away from just taking a lock of my hair." She grumbled, before looking at Max, determined. "Only one more week." She held her finger up in warning, "But the day after Nathan's party, we tell everyone that you cheated on me and we broke it off." She said. Max made sad faces but agreed, finally letting Phoebe leave.

It was disgusting to Phoebe how easily they slipped into their roles, whenever they were waiting for a class together Max would wrap an arm around Phoebe's waist and lean her head on his shoulder. He would carry her books and she would help him with his homework. They never kissed, that was something they knew they wouldn't do, but Max changed Phoebe's name in his phone to ' _Babe_ ' and Phoebe added little heart emojis next to his name in her phone.

It was all pretend; Phoebe told Max that she pretended he was Link, back when Link wasn't a jerk. Max told Phoebe that he pretended she was Megan Fox, and well, _how typical_ , Phoebe thought. But the thing was that they were both lying, it wasn't Link and a supermodel, it wasn't even two strangers, it was Max and Phoebe and they hated how right this felt.

"It's Phoebe." Max told Oyster, who had begun sound checks for where they were playing at Jake's mom's diner. Max pressed the phone to his ear. "Hey babe," Max smirked, and Oyster held up his hand for a high five. Max refused and had to stop himself from laughing at Phoebe's scoff.

"I think I just threw up a little." She responded. She was obviously still at home, and he was tempted to tell her, _'don't lie, you love it_ ', but he was terrified of her response, both positive and negative. "I just..." she faltered, "wanted to see how you were doing." She admitted.

"We're good, we start in about half an hour." Max responded, before adding, "What's the real reason you called?" He asked, knowingly. There was silence.

"That... is the reason." Phoebe said. She sounded almost bewildered. "I don't know, I'm here getting ready for the party and I just think, _oh, I hope Max's band thing goes well_." She hummed in frustration.

"Oh, well, OK... Cool." He paused, "Have fun at the party tonight." Phoebe laughed, loud and bright and it made his heart sing, not that he would ever tell her, or anyone for that matter.

"I think I will, you have fun with your free food."She told him, vaguely distracted, as if she were over analysing herself in a mirror. She usually was, just before parties. He was sure she would look spectacular though.

"Don't think I won't." He responded, trying to forget all thoughts he had about that sparkly blue dress she had picked out for the party.

"Ok, I'll see you later, Max." She said, and he could hear her smile even through the phone.

"Yeah, see you later." His own smile was warm and soft, and as an afterthought he added, "I love you." There was silence from the other end of the line and Max realised he might have just screwed up royally. He didn't hear the end-call tone so she mustn't have hung up. It was agonising, the moments leading up to Phoebe's words.

"I love you, too." She told him. With a click she was gone, and Max was left standing with the phone pressed to his ear as he went slack-jawed at what had just happened. Inside of his mind was a chorus of _'oh no!'_ and his brain felt numb as he went back to making sure his guitar was in tune.

It was his idea, really, but he should have known that Monday would be the day she broke his heart.


	5. things you didn't say at all

Any villain worth his doomsday devices was invited to the Evil League of Evil's Summer Associates Meeting-

"Calling it a meeting is an insult to actual meetings everywhere." Doctor Collosso proclaimed after five minutes of laughing at Max's victory dance upon receiving his invite. The super glared at his furry companion and sneered.

"What, is it suddenly dawning on you that life as a rabbit isn't as fun as..." he paused, searching for the word, "rabbits," he squinted at his own word choice, but continued along, "built it up to be?" He asked. It was hard to tell with him being, you know, a rabbit, but Max was pretty sure that Collosso rolled his eyes.

"Ever since becoming a villain was branded ' _sexy_ '," there was so much sarcasm in his words that Max had to stifle a laugh, "it's just been an uncivilised mess of dancing and drinking..." There was a beat, and the rabbit bit out, "DJ Doom should be ashamed of himself."

"Wait..." Max began, slowly, his mind ticking over his friend's words as his fingers racing over the keys of his keyboard, eyes glued to the screen as he pulled up the attached link. "Are you telling me that instead of old men in business suits, there'll be girls who think villains are hot dancing to house music?" He squinted at the fine print, listing the date, time, dress code and weapons policy.

"I know! Isn't it a travesty?!" Collosso wailed, distraught.

"That sounds _awesome!_ " Max cried, disregarding the rabbit's state of despair and leaping from his chair to rush to his wardrobe and plan an outfit. "Three days isn't a lot of notice."

"I don't know what your hostage etiquette is," Collosso sneered, "but three days is plenty long to keep someone tied up and use their club for what's practically a rave." Max hummed,eyes unfocused as he kept his attention on his clothes before he nodded, apparently not paying attention to his companion as he began throwing pairs of jeans and t-shirts over his shoulder from his cupboard. "I'm telling you Max, it's full of hacks now, nothing good comes of it."

"Well," Max laughed, looking over his shoulder, "isn't that the point?" He asked, smirking. Collosso fumbled with his words, hissing out angry half-sentences as Max went back to his pile of clothing. "Exactly." The teen was smug.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into." The rabbit warned, and Max rolled his eyes, sighing exasperatedly.

"Fine, if it's so terrible, come with me. I'll keep you with my jacket and you can complain to the coat-check girl all night." He groaned. Collosso's ears perked up.

"You think so?" He asked, "I mean, I may be a bunny, but I'm still a charmer," his timely belch made Max wrinkle his nose in disgust.

"Dude, stop.. everything, it's gross." He warned, and turned to see Phoebe standing at the top of the stairs, eyes wide as saucers as she looked from her twin to the fluffy villain.

"M-Max…" Her big, brown, doe eyes were terrified as she glanced back to her brother, a silent warning in them, "I thought… we had discussed _not_ discussing ' _gross'_ situations and-" Max's own eyes went wide in realisation and he all but flew up the stairs to clap a hand over her mouth. Standing toe to toe, nose to nose, he simply mouthed ' _no_ ' at her. They hadn't been that close in weeks, not since they had _'broken up'_ , and Max could feel his heart hammering in his chest at their proximity alone.

"Geeze, what is up with you two?" Collosso scoffed. Max spun, his hand moving reflexively to rest on the small of Phoebe's back. If she did lean into him a little more than necessary, neither of them made a comment.

Max went to assure the rabbit, "Oh, it's nothing-"

"Max peed himself in gym today." Phoebe blurted out, cutting Max off. The rabbit roared with laughed as Max whined in fake distress, playing along with some line about how she wasn't supposed to tell anyone. "So," Phoebe asked, leaning casually against the railings as Max made his way back to his bed, "what's with all the clothes?"

"I would tell you, but it's super cool villain stuff," he said, tossing another pair of jeans back into his wardrobe, before he turned to her, gesturing almost mockingly to her with an expression akin to that of someone smelling something _off_ , "not lame, nerdy textbook stuff." He let his face of disgust last a moment longer before smiling sweetly to hammer in his point and turn back to his bed.

"Oh," Phoebe said, vaguely dejected, "I suppose if it's cool, it wouldn't be anything like… say," she mused, a mischievous note in her voice, "a Summer Associate's Meeting?" She asked. Max's head shot up and he turned to see her smirking at him, a look much more often found on his face, but somehow looking _right_ on her.

"How do you know about that?" He asked, his voice coming out a scandalised hiss.

"I have my sources." Her reply was coy and Max poked his tongue out at her before she laughed, the mood lightening, "I'm still part of the Teen-Heroes Club back in Metroburg; they know you're invited and wanted to know what you knew about it." She leaned against the banister with an air of easy familiarity.

"What, so you could tell the _real_ superheroes?" All at once, the entire room went cold, and not from any sort of freeze breath. Max's jab made Phoebe frown and he didn't have to turn to know she was wearing a wounded expression. He felt bad, which was a new experience, and one he wanted to stomp out, but… he couldn't. "Pheebs-" he turned, but she turned away, bitter and unable to look at him.

"You know what?" She asked, mock enthusiastic, "Of course I'm not a _real_ superhero!" She cried, fake smile on her face, "My cape, the one I got _saving your life_ , is _completely fake_!" She cried, sarcastically, waving her arms about too much in that way she did when his insults hit too close to home.

"Come on, Pheebs, you know that's not what I-" He was cut short by the slamming of the door and he was thrown into silence once more. His heart pressed awkwardly against his ribs, he shouldn't feel bad, they talked like that all the time, just petty jabs, but… somehow this was worse.

"Did you really pee yourself?" Collosso asked, breaking the silence. Max's sad, puppy-dog eyes turned to the rabbit and his whole face transformed into a look of disgust.

"Just… stop talking about it." He muttered, going back to picking his outfit, jumping a little as Nora yelled down the slide that dinner was ready. Dinner was tense, to say the least, though he and Pheobe didn't fight... they didn't talk at all.

* * *

 _The good thing about being a villain_ , Max thought, feeling particularly good looking in his black jeans and t-shirt combo that he had selected, standing inside the Summer Associate's meeting, _is that no-one cards and liquor is whatever you can steal from the owner_. After three days of Phoebe being weirdly distant around him, his mother rolling her eyes whenever he brought up staying at a friend's house ( _she definitely knew what was happening, he'd pretended he was staying at 'Gordo's' house;_ no-one _was named Gordo outside of the Disney channel_ ), it was finally Saturday, the day of the Evil League of Evil's Summer Associate's Meeting.

 _have fun at ur 'real villains' meeting :)_

He had received the text mid-morning, Phoebe had already left for her sleepover with Cherry and Max hadn't even gotten out of bed, but as the day had progressed, he couldn't help keep going back and reading it, frowning at the little smiley face tacked onto the end. For someone a goody-too-shoes who did everything _but_ puke rainbows, Phoebe certainly could send passive-aggressive texts like a pro. He didn't bother responding, simply ordered another fancy drink with a little umbrella in it - perks of kidnapping the owner of and actual dance club.

"You know what, you're right." There was a familiar voice in Max's ear and he almost spilled his drink down his shirt before catching it just in time. After three days of nothing ( _like a record between the two of them_ ), hearing her voice here, now, was like a dream and a nightmare all in one.

"What are you doing here? Do you know what could happen if you-" He hissed, angrily, nursing his drink before placing it back on the bar and turning. What he didn't expect was Phoebe, wearing a short, black bob-cut wig and glittery black dress to be grinning like the Cheshire Cat with blood red lips.

"Are recognised?" She finished for him, her eyes twinkling. Her whole aura was so different that all Max could think in the face of this revelation was;

"You look… good." He told her, lamely, picking up his fancy drink and taking a sip, hoping the lights in the club hid his embarrassment.

"I know." Phoebe replied, airily, scanning the surrounding villains. Collosso had been right, it was a shambles of loud music and sweaty dancers; the only person in a suit was the DJ, and the suit was made of spandex. "Oh yeah," Phoebe smirked, triumphantly, "this is _totally_ were _real_ villains hang out." She rolled her eyes. "Just so you know," she turned to Max, triumphant and lofty expression on her face, "the Teen Heroes Club has a snack roster and I bring chocolate and peanut butter cookies _every week_." There was an unspoken ' _so there'_ in her words that made Max roll his eyes.

"Give it a break, Phoebe, you don't know what you're talking about. Anyone whose anyone is-" Max leaned back against the bar, following Phoebe's gaze into the crowd as she cut him off.

"Max, the DJ is _dressed like an alien_ -" She pointed over to the DJ, one hand on a mixing desk, the other holding a set of headphones to his head, wearing a bright green morph suit with a danger sign painted on the chest.

"He probably is an alien," Max huffed.

"Your drink has a little umbrella in it," Phoebe smirked at him her gaze sliding to his drink. Max cradled the drink defensively, looking wounded.

"It's _classy,_ Phoebe, I'm a _classy villain_." He insisted, but Phoebe simply rolled her eyes.

"And that's," she paused, tilting her head in confusion, "our math teacher?" Max snorted with laughter, but his expression dropped and he too frowned, mirroring his sister's head tilt of confusion.

"That _is_ our math teacher." He agreed, before he turned, expectantly. "What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice low. Phoebe's face fell.

"I was mad, OK?" She told him, in a harsh whisper. "I volunteered to go undercover to get back at you." Max looked taken aback, somewhere in the back of his brain he noted that he had gone too far with the whole _'real superhero_ ' thing.

"You're not allowed to be mad at me, you're the one who-" He clamped his mouth shut, squinting angrily but refusing to say the words on the tip of his tongue. Phoebe looked expectantly at him, but the words still play over in his mind, _you're the one who broke my heart_ , he can't say that, because if he says it, it's true and he _can't_ let it be true; if it _is_ true, he's even more messed up than he lets on, at least, that's what he tells himself. "You know what, who cares?" He huffed, downing his drink in one gulp and sliding off of his stool and onto the dance floor.

The night is blur of colour and noise; he watches through the crowd as Phoebe downs three shots, scowling at everyone who approaches her. At some point they end up dancing together, his hands on her hips and unspoken words between them, and perhaps he is wearing eye-liner because she said it made him look hot, and her skirt is too short because she's noticed his wandering fingertips around his ' _real_ ' girlfriends, but they're young and they feel the heady rush of alcohol tingling in the backs of their minds. But then again, what are villains if not a collection of bad ideas and cool costumes?

"How are you getting home?" Max asked, jacket slung over his shoulder, still warm and buzzing from the drinks and the dancing despite the nip of the cold, night air. An easy smile was smeared across his face as he looked up to the sky. All the villains had been kicked out at about three in the morning and now the twins were just loitering in the alley beside the bar.

"Oh, I'm not. I'm going back to Cherry's." Phoebe admitted, "She's picking me up soon." She flashed her phone at Max, who nodded, almost impressed. Phoebe's wig is surprisingly still in place, but most of her lipstick's worn off, and she looks a little bit more familiar now, the air between them feels a little bit more like home.

"So…" he smirked, "Mom and dad don't know you're here, do they?" He asked. Phoebe pressed her lips together, puffing out her cheeks and looking at the ground, feeling her face turning scarlet as Max laughed loud and easily, the both of them clearly intoxicated. "I won't tell." He assured her, knocking her shoulder with his. "Until it benefits me, of course." He chuckled, and Phoebe rolled her eyes at him. There was an undeniable tension growing between them, it had been ever since Phoebe's arrival in that stunning dress, or, perhaps Max's fifth drink, he could never really tell.

"How are you getting home?" She asked, and voice quiet, concerned even. She was such a Supe, it's a wonder no-one realised. He turned to her and could clearly see the care and concern in her eyes that were usually so guarded, so competitive. They were so standing close…

"I managed to find my old jetpack," It wasn't a smirk this time, it was a smile, a genuine smile that Phoebe shyly returned. Max pulled on the jetpack as he saw Cherry's car turn the corner at the end of the street.

"You know, catastrophic as I had envisioned." Phoebe admitted, half smiling, before giggling to herself. "But it was _pretty terrible_." Neither of them moved away, almost toe-to-toe. Phoebe looked up to see Max smirking down at her, and sometimes she forgot that they were Max and Phoebe Thunderman, they weren't twins, they weren't Supes, they weren't related; they were just two people, sometimes friends, with something more always just out of reach. Max, as if he could read her mind, his eyes softened as he watched her.

"Well, you know what they say about villains," he said, his eyes darting to her lips as he swallowed thickly and looked back up to her eyes; neither of them say _'they're bad',_ but they're both thinking it. He cups her face and kisses her and it feels like it's been a long time coming, her heartbeat fluttering at the pulse point beneath her fingertips. She kisses him back for the barest second before she feels like she's been splashed with cold water and she pushes him away, face aghast.

"Go." She breathed, fear and anger began to cloud her vision as Cherry pulled up behind her. Max goes to reach out for her, still heavily intoxicated and cold without her in his arms, but she can feel the bile in the back of her throat; by the time she's throwing up into the nearest trash can he's already been pushed away, stumbling his way down the alley, looks of hurt and confusion lost in the night.

"Oh my gosh, Phoebe, are you OK?" Cherry's wearing pyjamas with little ducks on them, hands warm, resting on Phoebe's back as the Supe pukes her guts up into a trash can down an alley, a scene so bizarre that it makes Phoebe weep… well, if she's crying for another reason, she won't admit it.

"No…" Phoebe mumbles, her voice wobbling, about to crack.

"Did you have too much to drink or-" Cherry asked, fishing around in her pockets for a tissue for Phoebe to wipe her mouth with. Everything tastes like lipstick and acid and _him_.

"It's not about the drinks, Cherry," Phoebe whispered, allowing herself to be lead, gingerly, to the car, "I've done a very bad thing."


End file.
